Family Dynamics

Every business is affected by family considerations. In the planning process immediate family members should be identified and considered as "stakeholders" in the business.

Much of what is understood about family dynamics comes from the work of Murray Bowen a psychiatrist. The Bowen family systems theory views the family as an emotional unit and uses systems thinking to describe the complex interactions in the family unit. The members of a family are emotionally connected. Family members affect one another's emotions and actions, and members become interdependent. A change in one member's actions is followed by a reciprocal change in another member.

Bowen developed the concept of differentiation of self, which is the ability to separate feeling and thinking. Undifferentiated people cannot separate feeling and thinking and cannot separate their own from other's feelings. Differentiation is the process of freeing oneself from one's family, perceiving problematic relationships without the need to blame others and yet retaining an emotional relationship to family members.

On a practical level, owners need to set boundaries between business and family concerns. This must be done with careful thought and not emotion. As an example, relationships in business must be based on merit and competency, but relationships within a family may be based on concern and empathy.

Family wealth and well being is best accomplished by attention to the human and intellectual capital of the family, as opposed to directly focusing on financial transactions. These ideas are best stated in the writings of James E. Hughes, Jr. (www.jamesehughes.com), the latest and most complete work being Family - The Compact Among Generations.

Hughes asks families: "Is the family seeking to grow dynamically the human and intellectual capital of each member, today and every day? Is it seeking to instill in the family a process of enhancement that will achieve the same goal for the next five generations? Is it committed to the goal of each family member achieving the highest order of happiness, that is, the highest level of self-awareness and the freedom of self that grows from it? Does the family appreciate that this is the process most likely to lead to the dynamic preservation of the family as a whole for the next five generations . . ."? These questions are answered by careful thought and good decision-making.

The balance of business and family responsibilities is created by careful thought and planning, not by emotional reaction.