If you are genuinely interested in what other people have to say, they will not mind saying it – it’s about them! There are plenty of good techniques, but first try reflecting back what you hear. People appreciate your interest and are complimented and impressed if you can say back what they have just told you. Sometimes it is as simple as saying: “You mean . . .” in front of what they have just told you. Other times you can add: “Did they really . . .” There is a learning curve to this, and it needs to be done with sincerity. Once you have it down, people will really enjoy speaking with you.
The worst mistake is to reflect back something and try and top it with your own antidote. Now you are sending all the wrong messages by competing rather than listening and appreciating. You increase your listening skills by finding out what is interesting about other people. Certainly it is a skill that is worth acquiring and that will provide interesting conversations.
